Town Center Message Board

[Jal Fatespinner]

Attention!

Do you like excitement? Do you like adventure? Are you aspiring to leave behind the drudgery of your daily life? Are you sick of being on the south end of a northbound ox?

If you have answered yes to any of these questions, then the Organization for Fun at the Expense of the Crown is looking for you!

What do we specialize in? Fun! Excitement! Merriment! Revelry! And the Indulgence of the Self!

In our seventy-three part course, we will teach you how to indulge in any of your desires, no matter how large, venial, or self focused they are!

You can learn all manner of skills such as :

Carousing
Looting
Torture
Self Defense
Aggressive Self Defense
Proactive Self Defense
Hunting
Poaching
Gambling
Pillaging
Singing
Art History
Veterinarian Medicine
Worship of strange and unknowable things
Archaeology
Medicine
Exploratory Surgery
Herbalism
Megalomania
Astrology
Fortune Telling
Dancing
Licentiousness
Debauchery
Business
Unnecessary Surgery
Tax Fraud
Law
Chaos
Science
Mad Science
Sword Fighting
Taunting
Knife Fighting
Dirty Fighting
Architecture
Geometry
Non-Euclidean Geometry
Cyclopean Architecture
Strange and Otherworldy Architecture
and more!

Please apply for your career in Self Fulfillment at the Temple of Dark Gods, located in a Town near you!

[Jal Fatespinner]

Fortunes Read and Made

Want to know what is in store for you? Want to know what the future holds? Love? Riches? Health? Will you be promoted? Will your house be burned by angry Paladins? Famine? Sickness? Angry gods' wrath? Children? Gypsies stealing your goods?

Contact Jal Fatespinner in the main village square or meeting hall to have your fortunes read and bound. It always works!*

Five Card Spread: 10 phz+
Full Spread: 25 phz+
Bound Spread: Depends on how much I actually like you.

Tips appreciated.

Satisfaction Guaranteed.**





*90% Success Rate on Binding and Readings.
**Satisfaction is not Guaranteed, although results are likely to occur. you may not appreciate those results, but hey, Fate's a bitch and I just read the cards. Binding is better, unless I hate you, then of course it usually sucks. You have been warned Willim.

[Jal Fatespinner]

Having Trouble Getting Around?

Hire a Roma Guide Today!

For one low price our guides will escort you along the Highways, Bi-ways, and back trails of the great Nation State of Interphase. Our guides will skirt dangerous areas and take you to friendly hostels, safe fords, and well maintained bridges!

We provide security, direction, and knowledge. In addition, all of our guides are skilled at entertainments, so you can travel AND get a show! Juggling, music, dance, and skilled games of chance, all make your travel more entertaining and removes the monotony of one step in front of the other!

Find a member of the Roma people today for your immediate travel needs!

We also specialize in travel packages to reduce costs of food, rooms, and feedstock.

Locations of Roma Travel Inc can be located at any bridge, ford, crossroad, or waystation in the Nation.

We're the ONLY Travel experts authorized by three different rulers!*

*King Jal the First and Queen Firerun the Good provided letters of right and recognition, King Traveus Seath has not rescinded any Letters of Right.

[Jal Fatespinner]

Arr, Me Hearties!

Lookin' to go on a Sea Cruise?

Join the finest ship 'n crew in all the waters for a long voyage to high adventure!

Sail through tranquil waters the color of sapphires! Rest along sandy beaches and soak up the tropical sun! Sip fine rum and eat delectable victuals from our ship's galley!

We provide the finest of vacations fer you 'n yer whole gang! Even bring the Mother in Law and make her "Walk the Plank!" don't worry, Mom, there's no actual Plank! But we do have a wonderful water slide called "the Plank" that the wee kids will love to slide down into the wonderful sparkling aqua waters.

Have fun and sail with us! Affordable packages are starting today!

Yarr, Ye'll have the time of yer life! Come to "Bon Voyage Cove" and let the excitement begin!

Note: There is totally a plank. Also, the Trip ends in a Pirate Island and may or may not end with you being ransomed off or sold into slavery. There are Sharks as well, and they tend to eat people who fall off the boat, so no swimming allowed. Food is moldy bread and slimy water. Rum and Grog are for Crew Alone. Packages are not affordable, we take everything. You will hate the entire trip, unless your a masochist, then you'll probably join the crew. The are no tranquil waters where we sail in all honesty, there are a LOT of storms. Deal with it. Puking is a flogging offense by the way, that was good rations we made you eat, think we're made of money? The sandy beaches will be where we force you to dig deep holes for our buried treasure, work on plantations harvesting trade goods, or possibly a shallow grave when you die of exhaustion. did I mention the disease? Because expect Scurvy, Typhoid, Dysentery, Influenza, Small Pox, The Plague, a wide variety of Venereal Diseases (We do have a Montaigne somewhere on the ship), Insanity, Loss of Limb, Loss of Sight, Broken Bones, Welts, Contusions, Blood Loss, Possible Death, Diarrhea, Hypertension, Dislocation of Joints, Stress, Depression, and Nausea. Some visitors have experienced other symptoms so check with your doctor before coming aboard. Basically the entire thing is a scam. I would not ever encourage you to do this. However, our lawyers of Dewey, Screwem, and Howe told us to include this legal boilerplate stating that you have been made aware of all of this, and arriving at the Bon Voyage Cove is a tacit agreement to be molested, beaten, robbed, and sold like chattel. Also just be reading this fine print you waive all right to complain, litigate, sue, or seek retribution via the law, crown, or other legal means.

[Wizardwalker]

ok if its being trained i want to learn....

Torture

Archaeology

Herbalism

Astrology

Geometry

Worship of strange and unknowable things

Strange and Otherworldy Architecture

Art History

and

Medicine

[Jal Fatespinner]

ok if its being trained i want to learn....

Well then good sire! The Temple of Dark Gods is happy to serve! Merely find us and pay the tuition fee, and we shall teach you everything you wish to know!

[Wizardwalker]

how much are we talking about....

[Jal Fatespinner]

Talk to Jal Fatespinner in person. He'll set you up.

[Jal Fatespinner]

Looking for the lost and missing crown jewels.

Apparently they were lost sometime during the Interregnum before Queen Starfire took the throne. There are four remaining Jewels. They ought to be big, flashy, and probably will cause the Bards to squeal with glee.

Will pay handsomely.

Contact Jal Fatespinner

[Wizardwalker]

ok i'll go to jal

*walks up to jal* how much for the classes in the temple of the dark gods

[Jal Fatespinner]

ok i'll go to jal

*walks up to jal* how much for the classes in the temple of the dark gods

At Phase, sir. At Phase.

[Wizardwalker]

ohhh now i see where this is going got it

[cecil1]

ok i'll go to jal

*walks up to jal* how much for the classes in the temple of the dark gods

At Phase, sir. At Phase.

[Jal Fatespinner]

The Temple of Dark Gods wishes to offer subsidies to everyone who has suffered the privations of the Dark Cultists and the predations of the Rangers who started the terrible firestorm that swept the lands and destroyed the grasslands and forests near Newtown.

Applicants may seek help at the Temple of Dark Gods. Each will be granted according to their needs.

Deacons and priests of the Dark Gods will give a sermon on the Nature of the Self, the Triumph of the Will, and the Rightness of Power.

Deacon Fatespinner will preside.

Offerings may be made in honor of the Gods and Goddesses Asmodeus, Hoar, Hermes, and Parrafaire.

[Jal Fatespinner]

Famous Adventurer's Correspondence School

Welcome to the first of many articles written for the Famous Adventurer's Correspondence School (FACS). This is a collective society that anyone is free to join, although official FACS journals and magazines require a subscription. Fortunately, we have received endowments from many of our members that have allowed us to open up chapter houses in most cities that we deliver to.

What we do:
The FACS is a guild of friendly adventurers that share stories, information, and help each other with difficult problems, especially for those just beginning their career of Adventuring. In our hallowed covers, we list common monsters and give advice on how best to defeat these monsters, as well as provide tactics, societal information, and even some basic communication strategies.

FACS also provides help to young and old adventurers on ways to stay in top shape for the rigorous life of adventuring and can offer help on remedies and cures for common ailments that seem to afflict us so often.

FACS chapter houses can also provide a respite for travel weary members (although we encourage you to stay at the Inn, we can provide some shelter for those down on their luck members with little or no coin). Part of these services also include work posting boards and recruitment for missions and quests that are more local in nature (and even some suggestions on where to go for more long ranging questing).

The FACS is also known to help off load spoils of adventuring, although depending on the chapter house, these services may vary. We must insist that all spoils, loot, trade goods, and equipment (magical or mundane) follow the following rules a. it must not be stolen goods, we're a respectable institute; b. be first offered to local merchants as per the normal rules of local guilds; and c. be fairly won in the course of adventuring.

FACS guild masters may also be able to provide additional services based on their experience and capabilities.

Where to find FACS Chapter Houses:
Partial List:
The Barony of Spielburg, Gloriana
Shapier City, The Emirate of Shapier, Gloriana
Kingdom of Tarna, Fricana, Gloriana
Town of Mordavia, Gloriana
Kingdom of Silmara, Gloriana


You can send your very own SASE to the following address to get a complete list of Chapter houses:
Famous Adventurers' Correspondence School
12345 Aerris Way
Silmaria